Disclaimer: This contains my personal views on religious beliefs (not necessarily formal religions) as an ex-Christian and therefore might cause offense to others, viewer discretion advised
Everyone dies.
The irony is, most humans live as if they are immortal, my explanation is because no one’s conscious mind has experienced unconsciousness, and thus death. It is surprisingly easy to forget that you will, and everyone around you, will one day die. Everyone we see on the streets are typically, not dead. Everyone reading this sentence is definitely not dead. So you walk through you daily life without ever thinking about this one great certainty.
I have an app called WeCroak remind this to myself five times a day. This made me appreciate the things I have much more, but also has created a great fear in me. Will I still be here tomorrow? What if I go to bed and never wake up? Obviousy the logical conclusion is, you won’t have to worry about that if it does happen anyways so don’t worry about it now.
But this wasn’t enough for me. Naturally, I started exploring religious beliefs. Turns out, in some religions, depending on who you are, what you did, and many other things, after you die you go live in a place, either good or bad, that we cannot experience while we are still living. In some other religions, you come back to this world, in some shape or another, also depending on who you are, what you did etc. In some others, you simply die and there is no afterlife.
All of this sounded insane to me. I cannot possibly convince myself to believe that there will be something waiting for me on the other side after I close my eyes for the last time, either that something is good or bad, because no one has ever seen it. I’ve read a couple dozen Christian books of visions of heaven and hell, back when I was still one. They offered many contradictory accounts. Buddhism’s version of coming back to this world, in one form or another did not make much sense to me either, how to we account for the population boom?
I was in a valley of despair. I was going through life without any meaning. What awaits me at the end is unknowable. I cannot choose a religion to believe in to convince me that there is something beyond the end of my life.
All of this fell on me about 2 weeks ago. I fainted, for the first time in my life, at my desk due to overworking. My head smashed against the keyboard. I was typing right before I felt my entire body was disconnected from my head, and I could not feel anything that is beneath my head, not even my neck muscles. It felt like a guillotine experience. I started falling towards the keyboard, without any control over any part of my body, but remained conscious even if I was extremely dizzy. The world started rotating in my eyes. I laid on the keyboard for 15 seconds before I started feeling my body again.
As I was falling, I thought, this is it. I’ve worked myself to death. If only I had more time to figure out more stuff and enjoy life more. Surprisingly, I was still alive. I took a few days off to recover and have a much better work-life balance now.
But what if I really died that day? Did I have any regrets (other than dying this early)? Did I have a good run? Was everything worth it?
In retrospect, I can say that everything has been worth it. 2 weeks after it, I finally figured it out via some very unexpected events.
It was late, I stumbled on a new (only to me) song called 兰亭序. For those not into Chinese culture, Lantingxu is one of the most important calligraphy in Chinese history written in the year 353. That is more than 1600 years ago. The modern song version is by Jay Chou, a Taiwanese singer.
I was in love with the song, particularly a slowed version of it, which made me very emotional. I went on to search for other versions of it, and stumbled on a version that used it as the BGM with edited scenes from the Three Kingdoms tv series showing Zhuge Liang, the chancellor and later regent of the state of Shu Han in that era. He is regarded as one of the most capable and accomplished strategist & statesperson in Chinese history. He died trying to achieve his goals, but he never gave up against overwhelming odds. The video I watched that portrayed his story was extremely moving, and I started crying. The comments show that many felt the same way.
Sound familiar? A great historical figure that inspires many across 2 millennia. Someone called Jesus is also someone who inspires many across 2 millennia.
Except there is one key difference.
No one believes Zhuge Liang came back from the dead. A lot of people believe Jesus did.
And that is where the key difference between the religion of the Chinese and other more formal and established religious beliefs lie.
Chinese people believe in a myriad of things. Many contradictory. However one thing remains constant. No one believes with all their heart that there is an after-life. Even if there are made up stories, many even written in history books, about how when an emperor was born, some magical supernatural things happened. Everyone knows they are made up, often at the command of the emperor themselves.
There is no one that can turn water into wine by just snapping a finger. There is no one that can create a road in the ocean without building a bridge or filling in the ocean with earth and sand.
So, does the Chinese believe in gods? No, but yes.
The Chinese believe that mortals who die can do godly things.
Yes, there is nothing after death. Yes, there is no way to avoid it. But no matter who you are born as, it does not necessarily preclude you from becoming anything. 王侯将相宁有种乎 (No one is nobler simply by their birth) was the spirit of the first peasant uprising in China in 208 B.C. Even as a deeply patriarchal society, there has been Wu Zetian(https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wu_Zetian), the first and only female emperor who ruled China. No one needs to be given birth by a virgin mother to achieve greatness. No one needs to have riden flying horses to be impactful.
This belief is not regarded as religious belief by many as it lack the structures of a formal religion that the West is more familiar with, but that is the beauty of it. No one needs to communicate with the originator of this belief through a special class of people who interprets ancient texts. This belief is universal, yet personal. It is held in the subsconsciouness.
It is a belief in humankind. In ourselves.
No one will get an after-life? That is ok, just make sure you are using your life for a cause worthwhile.
I don’t know about you, but this feels oddly comforting. As a mortal, I know I do not have the ability to go 40 days without food and water. If that is the only way to transcend death, then I would be out of luck.
But if people who have died, remain dead, have been able to use their human ingenuity against all odds to do things that are so great that their writings are still taught in schools, their stories still make people drop tears, then as long as you are a human, there is hope.
The Chinese does not believe in immortal gods.
Instead, we believe in mortal, fragile, weak humans, who do godly things.
They transcend death by accepting it as their destiny, and fight for a cause worth living for.
Glory to the Godly mortals.
